• [ULWPQSF id=2945]
  • Creative Writing

    Warning, Humorous Gifts! Ticket, Bill, Prescription…

    Less than a week before the April Fools’ Day, I would like to tell you about some gifts that imitate serious documents but are in fact practical jokes. You may use them as humorous gifts or gift supplements for a person with a sense of humour, not only on 1 April.

    Humorous gift no. 1: Speeding ticket

    For whom: inexperienced drivers, police officers, any person celebrating round birthday (the only requirement is for them to have a driving licence)

    Getting a ticket is usually an unpleasant business. Yet this isn’t the case when the ticket is given not for exceeding the speed limit but for reaching a certain age. Such a ticket was given to my husband on his 30th birthday. All of his data were accurate (acquired by his best friend in advance). The only thing that differentiated this ticket – issued on an authentic blank form – from those given by the traffic police was the offence description written with a black felt-tip: exceeding 30! and the fine: PLN 30, in words: thirty years.–. The ticket was framed together with best wishes from my husband’s friends and still hangs in our apartment :).

    Humorous gift no. 2: Bill / Suit for damages

    For whom: young entrepreneurs, banking officials, financial advisers (i.e. people who will immediately recognise such a document and may fall for its serious nature before they study it in details)

    I have once sent such a gift to my boyfriend on our dating anniversary. He wasn’t anyhow related to the world of finance, but the content of my ‘document’ sufficed for him to read it firstly with apprehension, and then laughing his head off.

    In a suit for damages, I urged my boyfriend to pay for the destruction of my laptop. The damage description included flooding the computer, mechanical destruction of its liquid crystal display and detachment of its upper part. Below, I provided personal details of the accused (i.e. my boyfriend) and explained the relationship between his actions and the damage. The culprit condemned us to long separation, leaving the Internet as the only means of communication. Since we contacted often and with pleasure, the aggrieved party (i.e. I) allegedly kissed the display, which damaged 70% of pixels; embraced the computer so hard that I dislodged the screen; and, slobbered over our meetings so much that I flooded the mechanical and electronic elements of the device. In the following part of the suit for damages, I ‘objectively’ assessed the damage estimating the actual price of the laptop, as well as the material and sentimental value of the data contained therein (together with a detailed description of our shared memories related to it). As compensation, I urged the accused party to pay me 1000 kisses at his convenience. In the case of a failure to pay compensation, I threatened to punish my boyfriend with long prolonged tickling, depending on how long he would hesitate with the payment.

    If you like the idea behind this gift, you may prepare a similar one or try something different and make out a bill for something that you have already paid for (e.g. the actual gift in the form of an evening out).

    Humorous gift no. 3: Prescription / Referral

    For whom: medical student, young doctor or pharmacist, hypochondriac (i.e. any person that will recognise the form)

    A prescription may be made out for something that you may achieve with it: e.g. for a long and happy life, for good mood… or for something that you may obtain: a love potion, stress-relief pills…

    It may either contain a jocular instruction:

    prescription for a happy day: broad smile before breakfast and before going to bed + a substantial dose of laughter at least every 4 hours

    or be a coupon for a different kind of gift:

    prescription for good mood: chit-chat with best friend; this prescription is to be made up at the chemist’s ‘Anna O’Donell’, open 24/7, which offers bonuses for regular customers.

    The same applies to referrals, which may be a jocular alternative for the coupons I recommended in another post. For example, you may offer your friend or spouse:

    • a referral to taste-bud examination (with a specific date and location of a restaurant, pub or café provided),
    • a referral to a hearing test (e.g. in a philharmonic or an open-air concert).

    Remember to sign your humorous gift in a funny and creative way!

    I haven’t tried this gift yet, but I am already looking for an opportunity to give such a personalised form to someone with a sense of humour.

    Humorous gifts for a hen party

    All of these ideas may be successfully adapted for a hen night party:

    • a BILL – for the high costs of living single, which will be remitted if the girl in question gets married by a set deadline,
    • a FINE – for driving without passengers or too slow driving towards marriage,
    • a PRESCRIPTION – for getting offspring (delicious meals for the husband 3 x day, etc.),
    • a REFERRAL – to the altar / the registry / the wedding night (issued by the M(edical)aids of Honour).

    How to present your humorous gift?

    • You may frame it

    This is a good solution if it is the main gift, and if it is given on a big day (graduation, passing the driving test, round birthday, hen party, etc.).

    • You may add your ‘document’ to the gift in an envelope instead of a greeting card

    If it is only a supplement to the main gift, it may be a humorous alternative to traditional wishes.

    • You may also try to pull somebody’s leg and pretend that the gift is not from you

    Give your main gift and claim that you have found the ticket, bill or prescription on the doormat / behind the windscreen wiper / in the post box, or that it was brought by the postman.

    Other humorous gifts that I have described in previous posts:

    Birthday Magazine

    You may pull somebody’s leg or just have a good laugh with a newspaper with the photos of the birthday boy/girl or the future bride. Read more in the post: ‘Birthday Magazine‘.

    Best Before Dates

    Best before dates may be used as unusual material for a gift for people with a sense of humour. The joke consists in reversing the traditional association with best before dates, which normally end a certain period, but should instead begin it. Read more in the post: ‘Best before or after 30?

    If you have any other ideas for humorous creative gifts, please share them in the comments below!

    My advice:

    – Before you give your present, make sure that it will be enjoyed, i.e. consider whether the recipient has a sense of humour and will understand your joke. For instance, I advise you not to give a prescription to a seriously ill grandma or a speeding ticket to a driver who frequently receives them and won’t bother to take a closer look.

    – If the ticket / bill / prescription should serve to pull somebody’s leg on April Fools’ Day, fill them in on the computer. If they should be hanged on the wall, fill them in with a thick felt-tip, to make the jocular part visible from the distance.

    – In this second case, don’t write actual personal details – some people may not want to hang their ID number in a place where it could be read by any casual visitor.

    Leave a Comment